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Author Topic: The REAL daily joke thread:  (Read 401 times)

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Offline BB_vonline

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #75 on: Dec 24, 2016, 12:00 AM »
Why don't steak knives invite butter knives to parties?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  Because they are too dull.

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #76 on: Dec 25, 2016, 12:00 AM »
Why did Captain Condom go flying across the room?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  He got ♥♥♥♥♥♥ off!  🍻

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #77 on: Dec 31, 2016, 12:00 AM »
How many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  A fish!

Offline BB_vonline

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #78 on: Dec 31, 2016, 12:00 AM »
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  you can uncrew a light bulb.

Offline BB_Flonner

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #79 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Orrscores                 View Post              
             
You know the best way to catch an elephant?
 
  You dig a big hole and fill it with ashes then you put peas around it.
  When he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole!!! 
 
  Just tell me to stop. Lol
  Told you not to get me going
                  
    
 
not bad for a Bostonian

Offline Orrscores

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #80 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Flonner                 View Post              
             
not bad for a Bostonian
                  
    
 
I have a million of them but unfortunately this is a family site and probably won't go over very well.
 
  What do you call a dear with no eyes?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  I have no eye dear!!
 
  You must have heard that one.

Offline BB_vonline

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #81 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
No but I've seen it before.

Offline Orrscores

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #82 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by vonline                 View Post              
             
No but I've seen it before.
                  
    
 
What about a dear with no eyes and no legs?

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #83 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by vonline                 View Post              
             
No but I've seen it before.
                  
    
 

Offline Orrscores

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #84 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Orrscores                 View Post              
             
What about a dear with no eyes and no legs?
                  
    
 
Still no eye deer!!!

Offline BB_Flonner

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #85 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
lol, I'm going to have to borrow a few of these!

Offline Orrscores

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #86 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Flonner                 View Post              
             
lol, I'm going to have to borrow a few of these!
                  
    
 
There is a 3rd teir to this but it inappropriate 😋

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #87 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Orrscores                 View Post              
             
Still no eye deer!!!
                  
    
 
Took me a few, but I got it! Hehe
 
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Orrscores                 View Post              
             
There is a 3rd teir to this but it inappropriate 😋
                  
    
 
Ummmm no eye deer lol

Offline BB_Flonner

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #88 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Orrscores                 View Post              
             
There is a 3rd teir to this but it inappropriate 
                  
    
 
You might have to PM it

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #89 on: Jan 01, 2017, 12:00 AM »
I wasn't gonna do it but have changed my mind. It's 2017 and all.
 
  Guy with no arms and no legs tries out for the swim team. Coach says "Um, are you sure?"
   
  "Yes! Just let me show you what I've got!"
 
  So they get him onto the diving board, he topples in... and sinks to the bottom. After a moment the coach dispatches a couple of other swimmers to drag him out.
 
  "Son, maybe the Swim Team isn't for you."
 
  "Coach! Let me try again! I had a cramp!"