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Author Topic: The REAL daily joke thread:  (Read 403 times)

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The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Arghacceptmyname                 View Post              
             
A grenadier walks into a ritzy bar. Grabs a menu. Checks the prices. His heart stops.
 
  "Medic! My heart! Gad-Zooks, this place is expensive!!!"
 
  Once revived, he rifles through his wallet, and finds a heavy gold coin. Hands it to the barkeep, who tanks him.
 
  "I wouldn't pay this much," says the Gren, "but it's a scorcher out there. Man my wife will be mad when she finds out what I spent on this lousy drink..."
 
  "Don't tell her," says the bartender. "Why warri'or?"
 
  (I'll show myself out)
                  
    
 
Made me lol more than it should've

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2016, 01:00 AM »
I was sitting at the bar drinking a beer and the waitress screamed "does anybody know CPR?". I yelled, " I know the whole alphabet" and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one guy

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #17 on: May 31, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by xNORTHERNx                 View Post              
             
I was sitting at the bar drinking a beer and the waitress screamed "does anybody know CPR?". I yelled, " I know the whole alphabet" and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one guy
                  
    
 
Lol. Ever noticed, though, that gunboat abilities have the ABC's covered? Arty, Barrage, Critters. I want "Destructor" for the next one.

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #18 on: May 31, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Arghacceptmyname                 View Post              
             
Lol. Ever noticed, though, that gunboat abilities have the ABC's covered? Arty, Barrage, Critters. I want "Destructor" for the next one.
                  
    
 
I'll take one too please

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #19 on: May 31, 2016, 01:00 AM »
You can't make a joke about grens walking into a bar, the joke has to be more like '4 grens walk towards a bar but stop 3 blocks away'.

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #20 on: May 31, 2016, 01:00 AM »
Oh God, I was just reminded of a joke I haven't told in 20 years. Thanks go to my ex-wife who quoted it to me. This is not remotely BB related BTW. The punchline is:
 
  "The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides." Now I just have to remember the leadup...

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #21 on: Jun 01, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Arghacceptmyname                 View Post              
             
Oh God, I was just reminded of a joke I haven't told in 20 years. Thanks go to my ex-wife who quoted it to me. This is not remotely BB related BTW. The punchline is:
 
  "The son of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides." Now I just have to remember the leadup...
                  
    
 
I know this joke! (or something similar - I have heard variatiions)
 
  It's to do with a tribal leader, and he has 2 sons with 2 of his wives (his squaws). His third wife gives birth, and he holds a competition to guess about the birth of his third wife. Many come, and guess girl, boy, etc. At last, one of the tribe guesses twin boys. The leader is amazed, and asks how he did this.
 
  Anyway, the punchline is the pythagorean rule. I'm pretty sure the version I remember had a 'high-pot and noose'. Hmm

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #22 on: Jun 02, 2016, 01:00 AM »
Ah the off topic category.where good threads come to die!

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #23 on: Jun 03, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Rudeman                 View Post              
             
You can't make a joke about grens walking into a bar, the joke has to be more like '4 grens walk towards a bar but stop 3 blocks away'.
                  
    
 
Hear about the grenadier that had a raging fit and threw himself to the floor?
 
  He missed...

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #24 on: Jun 03, 2016, 01:00 AM »
What's the difference between a grenadier and a storm trooper?
 
  The law of averages works on storm troopers.

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #25 on: Jun 03, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by MasterBoomer                 View Post              
             
Hear about the grenadier that had a raging fit and threw himself to the floor?
 
  He missed...
                  
    
 
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by MasterBoomer                 View Post              
             
What's the difference between a grenadier and a storm trooper?
 
  The law of averages works on storm troopers.
                  
    
 
very good
 
  Edit:
 
  What's the difference between a grenadier and a sad elephant?
 
  One's a drunk troop and the other has a trunk droop.
 
  (sorry)

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #26 on: Jun 04, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Tryeeme                 View Post              
             
What's the difference between a grenadier and a sad elephant?
 
  One's a drunk troop and the other has a trunk droop.
 
  (sorry)
                  
    
 
Applause!
 
  What's the difference between a warrior and a drunk bird?
 
  One swings away, the other's wings a'sway.

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #27 on: Jun 04, 2016, 01:00 AM »
Actually I'm kinda proud of that one... I was sober.

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #28 on: Jun 08, 2016, 01:00 AM »
    
       
          
                        
                Quote Originally Posted by Arghacceptmyname                 View Post              
             
Actually I'm kinda proud of that one... I was sober.
                  
    
 
Really? Makes me wanna drink...
 
  But why is the rum gone???

Offline BB_Delphi

The REAL daily joke thread:
« Reply #29 on: Dec 15, 2016, 12:00 AM »